Book Talk by Bobby Capps

On Thursday, outlaw, actor and huge Cheech and Chong fan, Bobby Capps, was at Book Passage in Corte Madera, CA to cover the Tommy Chong book signing for us.

Here's his story...

THE STRAIGHT DOPE
By The Infamous Outlaw Bobby Capps

The police claim that pot heads are all morons and stupid. They're not. Give a pothead some weed and he turns into F-ing MacGyver. Potheads can make a pipe out of anything. See this microphone? Put a hole in the end and whifffffffffffffffff!, it's a pipe!, said Tommy before beginning the signing session . These words made for an enjoyable evening with the celebrity Pope of Pot who charmed the emotions out of a sea of fans. "There's the pitch swung on and hit and the crowd goes wild here in the Book Passages Arena ladies and gentlemen", said Tommy before beginning the signing session .

As the event unfolded, anticipation and impersonations of Cheech and Chong comedy routines were performed by Cheech and Chong local loyalists . Dave's Not Here! Hey man, I got the stuff! I watched and listened as I felt I was there on a bigger mission. To find out first hand from the Mannnnnnnnnn himself just what was going to be the next move or movie.

A crowd of more than two hundred people filled the events room. I, myself, was mesmerized by the beauty of Terri, the Events Coordinator. She works for the owners, Bill & Elaine Petrocelli. In the style of Cheech Marin himself, I was like whoaaaaaaaaaaa! She makes me want to go out and read a book. Terri did a great job. She and several co-workers posed with the Master of Marijuana at the end of the night.

Terri came in and with a genuine awe introduced the man of the hour. Tommy Chong took the stage. Tommy began by telling anecdotes of life in the 60's, being half White and half Chinese and how he met Cheech Marin. I tried to stay unbiased, but caught myself time and time again being lulled by the melodic tenor voice of Tommy Chong's soothing style. Tommy's voice cracked here and there. For an instant, I could see relief of pain and almost a tear drop breaking from the man's heart.

Shortly after the signing began, some guy burst in ranting and raving about how he was a eye witness for the Amber Schwartz Garcia kidnap/murder and how the City of Martinez Calif had a restraining order against him to stay away from the courts. His claims were that an innocent person was behind bars and that somehow George Bush senior was somehow connected.

While Terri grabbed Tom to save him from an obviously disturbed man, Tommy reached back and handed me a flier that the man was handing out. Frank Lauria from Bay City Media, the media person for Simon and Schuster and myself distracted the man so Tommy could avoid any potential harm. Frank and I listened and then whittled our way out, letting the man know
we were here for a special event, we were glad to take his fliers, but we had to move on. I informed the employees he was not a part of the show and they immediately escorted him out of the building.

The crowd spouted off. We're here for Tommy Chong. We want Tommy! We want Tommy and giggled as they saw the man leave.

He told stories of how Ronald Regan was once HR Puffin Stuff. With jokes of Bush and the state of the world now Tommy could only point over and say, "This is why I wrote this book. I needed to let you know that there's a reason for everything. If you're in prison, you need to be there. You can find out what and why you are on this planet. I wanted to write a book about Cheech and Chong, but I couldn't. There's stuff Cheech and I did that he and I don't want people to know. Basically, take away that and there's just a boring story. We made a movie we did some stand up. I needed to be there he proclaimed. I found myself and I'm now free!"

As the night moved on, a Q&A from the audience was brought forth.

After the autograph session was over, people lined up around the corner to greet Tommy. One-by-one they moved in on the man, telling him thank you Tommy Chong for all the fun and laughter you have given us over the years. Shaking the man's hand and requesting a photo. The love for the man was etched on their faces like the works of Michael Angelo's "David" to stand the tests of time.

You could see that every single person wanted to hug the stuffing out of the white hair Teddy Bear. Chong still fights with a passion. His obsession to write and create and be are instilled in every wrinkle. He wants to share his gift with you and let you know that the government will never break him down.

Tommy shuffled out of the building just behind Frank Lauria with me right behind. I could see Tommy's frame in the dark of the night move across the parking lot to Frank's car. Now, I can smile because I see that Tommy has found inner peace from a horrifying ordeal. It made me feel warm all over knowing that the stars had realigned. God wanted it that way and now so did I.

Cheech and Tommy, please put aside the petty differences. Let's have one more movie for everyone around the world whom love you both.

As I got in my truck for my midnight journeys ride home, I saw my own face in the rearview mirror. It seemed that I too had grayed during all the troubles for Tommy Chong. My worries for the man I didn't really even know or share much life had branded me with the mark of Chong. My head had salt and peppered and my beard was tinseled with white hair also. I had earned my colors for being a believer and standing up and fighting for Tommy and his family. Somehow, I feel vindicated for all my hard work. I hope that the next time I see Tommy, he will be working on the next Cheech and Chong film. Hopefully, Tommy will give me a part like he had mentioned. If it never happens, I will be just as satisfied as I have met and loved THE CHONG pioneer of taboo comedy creator of unconditional laughter!

Here are some questions Capps asked Tommy:
Q: Tommy What attributes your long success as a couple with Shelby?
A: Well, we were never official, So we could never officially break up.

Q: Do you read the Cheech and Chong web site?
A: Yes I do from time to time!

Q: If you could say something to the many loyal fans around the world whom read the web site what would that be?
A: Thanks for the support Don't give up the fight!

Q: What caused the actual split up with you and Cheech?
A: Money!

Q: Will Shelby be joining you on the book tour?
A: No!

Q: What caused the disturbance between you and Josh the Director of AKA Tommy Chong?
A: He was trying to stiff the investors and me. Greed basically.

(NOTE: All answers regarding others in this Q&A were not substantiated, nor were others allowed to respond in their behalf. In other words, there are two sides to every story.)

Photo of Stonerdude (the guy that designed the Free Tommy shirts/the guy that's often on Stern) at the San Fran signing.